ADHD Therapy
For Women in Denver, CO
Maybe you feel constantly frustrated at yourself for leaving things till the last minute, but you can’t seem to make yourself plan in advance. You put things off until you feel you can do it “perfectly”, but then end up feeling panicked or paralyzed. You worry that your friends think you’re unreliable when you struggle to answer texts or commit to plans. It feels like you are always behind, and by the end of the day, your brain is buzzing and you can’t think straight. You’re constantly apologizing to everyone in your life for showing up late or forgetting plans, and can’t stop beating yourself up.
Are you a high achieving woman or mom who struggles with signs of ADHD?
And despite all of this, you feel pressure to be the reliable, dependable one in your relationships, and are crippled by shame when you can’t fill that role. You wonder, “what’s wrong with me?” “Why can’t I just get it together like everyone else?”
All you want is for your brain to slow down and let you focus.
But no matter what you try, nothing seems to stick.
You don’t have to live with constant overwhelm and self-doubt. ADHD therapy can help.
What is ADHD?
ADHD, or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder is a condition that relates to your nervous system and how it develops. It primarily impacts the prefrontal cortex of the brain, which is responsible for things like attention, focus and planning. The way that it presents varies a lot from person to person, and some people have more inattentive-type symptoms (affecting things like concentration and focus) while others have more hyperactive-type symptoms (struggling more with things like restlessness and impulse control). Some people with ADHD struggle with both. According to most recent CDC data, 7 million children in the US have been diagnosed with ADHD (11.4%), and many people are not diagnosed until adulthood. While it sometimes presents challenges that get picked up in school, many people “fly under the radar” until adulthood, when their symptoms may start to cause problems at work, in their personal life or relationships.
How Does ADHD Present in Women?
In school-age children, boys are more frequently diagnosed with ADHD than girls. This may be related to how symptoms show up differently between men and women - men tend to struggle more with hyperactive and impulsive symptoms, while women more often have struggles with attention and focus, seeming to others as if they are “daydreamers” or have their head in the clouds, which is less likely to be disruptive in a classroom. Because of how women are socialized to care for and please others, more women tend to “mask” their symptoms, feeling like they have to deal with them all on their own. This can look like low self esteem, imposter syndrome or even anxiety and depression. There is also evidence that women with ADHD can experience an increase in symptoms during the premenstrual period of their cycle due to changes in estrogen levels (and that for the same reason, perimenopause can also exacerbate symptoms).
ADHD and Motherhood
ADHD can present unique challenges in motherhood. Women with ADHD may find it more challenging to keep up with the mental load that is expected of mothers in our culture, making them feel even more inadequate and overwhelmed. For new moms, factors like sleep deprivation and hormonal changes (estrogen plays a key role in dopamine regulation) can exaggerate symptoms and make it harder to focus attention, manage impulses and keep up with the demands of early parenthood. Many moms with ADHD experience more intense emotions, and struggle more with “mom guilt”, “mom rage” and constant self-criticism. They also often feel misunderstood by their partners or family members, who may take their behavior personally, or painfully label them as irresponsible or uncaring.
Common signs of ADHD can look like:
Difficulty paying attention for a long period of time, especially if it’s something you’re not interested in
Putting off tasks until you can do them “perfectly”, and then feeling panicked or paralyzed by being in a time crunch
Feeling as if you’re being driven by a motor, or can’t stop “doing”
Feeling a constant, exhausting pressure to mask your challenges, even when things feel internally overwhelming or chaotic
Difficulty motivating yourself to do work when you’re alone or no one is holding you accountable; OR pressuring yourself to work “twice as hard” to make up for your challenges with attention and focus
Struggling to be consistent with routines, finding that you will give up after one “off” day
People-pleasing, feeling like you have to say “yes” to everything and then feeling totally overwhelmed with all you’ve committed to
Often feeling restless, fidgety or having a hard time sitting still
Struggling to communicate assertively
Feeling like you are always behind
Entering “hyperfocus” mode when you start on a task that you enjoy, and then being unaware that hours have passed by
Difficulty relaxing
Alternating between periods where you focus well and feel super productive, and others where you feel exhausted, burnt out and can’t get anything done
Starting to do a task and getting distracted with other related tasks that often end up incomplete
Feeling “scatterbrained”, or like your brain is rapidly jumping from one topic to the next
Struggling to manage feelings like frustration or overwhelm, and then feeling ashamed of this
Feeling anxious or overwhelmed when your environment is noisy or cluttered
Struggling with being on time or forgetting appointments altogether
Feeling like a failure
Feeling like a fraud or imposter
Dealing with feelings of inadequacy by overcommitting and taking on more, stretching yourself even thinner
Therapy for ADHD in Denver Can Help
It's not your fault that you feel this way. Women in our culture are expected to do it all - which is impossible!
I take a different approach to healing ADHD.
Instead of focusing on “fixing” your challenges, we’ll work together to recognize your strengths, support your growth and build upon your successes.
You will learn to trust yourself, identify what makes you thrive and stop comparing yourself to everyone around you. In therapy together, we will:
Help you develop coping skills and a self-care routine to physically calm down your nervous system and be more present in your environment
Change your relationship to anxious and self-doubting thoughts, so that you no longer see your challenges as a reflection of your character.
Help you to get more done and feel more organized and productive by learning practical strategies to break down tasks into manageable parts and build upon small successes
Teach you to rethink the way you respond to high-pressure situations and learn mindfulness-based tools to feel more present in your life, be kinder to yourself and accept all parts of yourself (strengths and challenges alike!)
Help you to dig deeper and draw connections between internalized messages from childhood and the expectations that you put on yourself in the present
Help you to feel confident communicating assertively to set healthy boundaries and limits with others in your life (without putting yourself down in the process!).
Suggest relevant books, articles and tools that can help you to get a deeper understanding of your condition and make progress in between sessions
Through therapy for ADHD, I will help you learn to celebrate and build upon your successes. You will break free from the cycle of avoiding and feeling stuck. You will learn to trust your brain, and find ways to work with it instead of against it. You will spend less time hiding, and more time living your life. Women with ADHD have so many strengths, and through therapy you will learn to honor and find pride in them.
You are not defective. You are interesting, unique and wonderful.
You don’t have to live with constant feelings of overwhelm, inadequacy and imposter syndrome. Therapy can help you to find clarity, balance and confidence in your life.
ADHD Therapy FAQs
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Like many conditions, cognitive behavioral therapies (including acceptance and commitment therapy, or ACT) are shown to be highly effective for treating ADHD, as they can help you to change your relationship to negative thoughts that may have developed as a result of interpersonal or behavioral challenges earlier in life. Mindfulness-based therapy is also very effective for treating ADHD, as are coaching strategies such as teaching skills to improve organization, task completion and focus.
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Yes! However, it is crucial to get support to better understand the challenges that you face, as ADHD can affect each person so differently. Therapy, sometimes in conjunction with medication, can help you to live a “normal”, successful life with healthy relationships.
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Untreated ADHD in women can manifest in the form of forgetfulness, constantly running late or feeling behind, self-esteem issues and subsequent mental health challenges like anxiety or depression.
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Yes, ADHD is a form of neurodivergence because it impacts the way you think, process information and experience the world. Like many forms of neurodivergence, it is typically a lifelong condition (although certain environments may trigger symptoms at different points in your life). Therapy (and sometimes medication) can help you to cope with the challenges ADHD presents and build confidence around your strengths.
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Yes! Research actually indicates that as many as 7-8% of athletes have ADHD, and therapy is a safe and effective treatment option. For more information on how therapy can help athletes with ADHD, get in touch.
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Being a mom is hard, even when you aren’t struggling with undiagnosed ADHD. Moms with ADHD may be even more prone to mom burnout, guilt and over-stimulation. They may find it extra challenging to manage their family’s busy schedule, keep track of appointments and take care of their own needs on top of this. If you think ADHD may be impacting your functioning as a mom, get in touch! Therapy can help.
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Yes - ADHD in women is actually often misdiagnosed as depression, but many women struggle with both. Women with ADHD may also experience with depression in the form of negative self-talk, imposter syndrome and shame. For more information, check out my post on this topic.
My Denver-based therapy practice specializes in treating high-achieving women dealing with anxiety, perfectionism and people-pleasing. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps
Step 1
Contact Victoria
Step 2
Meet with Victoria, ADHD therapist for an intake session
Step 3
Get started on your journey towards taking anxiety out of the driver’s seat and start living your life!
