A good place to start is trying to set aside a few moments for yourself each day - whether that’s after the kids go to bed, before everyone wakes up in the morning or during naptime.  Resist the temptation to do chores or catch up on work, and allow yourself to take a few minutes that are just about doing something you enjoy.  Learn more about ways to decompress by talking to a therapist for moms!

The mental load of motherhood is the mental and emotional impact of the constant “to-do” lists that moms tend to keep track of for everyone in the household - managing everyone’s schedules, keeping track of supplies, chores, etc.  This also includes providing emotional support to family members and managing family dynamics.  When moms don’t communicate and seek support around managing the mental load, stress, burnout and resentment can result. 

Toxic positivity in relation to motherhood refers to the practice of only focusing on the positive aspects of parenting and feeling pressure to present a “perfect” picture of happiness, even when family members are struggling or facing challenges.  Toxic positivity can cause moms to bury their emotions, struggle with feelings of inadequacy and experience feelings of shame that prevent them from seeking help.  

Cognitive behavioral therapies and therapies that focus on mindfulness-based practices, such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy are shown to be especially helpful for managing mom burnout.  Psychodynamic therapy can also be helpful for better understanding your narrative around motherhood and where certain expectations that you put on yourself originated from.  

Moms become overstimulated when their senses become overloaded with too much input  - this can come from being constantly touched and prodded or responding to cries, complaints and demands for help.  Moms who are overstimulated might snap more easily, have a hard time focusing, experience unpredictable emotional outbursts or feel “touched out” and need space from family members.  

I get it - as a busy mom, you are so focused on taking care of everyone else in your family that it may feel like making time for therapy is impossible. But caring for your mental health is just as important as all the other care you provide for your family - you will eventually run out of energy and patience for them if you’re not taking care of yourself. I welcome new moms to bring their babies to therapy sessions, or moms of older kids to have a sit-down with their partners and families to talk about making therapy a priority. You may feel like you have to handle it all on your own, but most of the time your family will surprise you and be willing to step up so that you can take this important time for yourself.

Taking the leap to start therapy can be really daunting, especially if it’s your first time. Many moms feel so much pressure to handle everything on their own that asking for help feels like an admission of failure. But it actually takes a ton of courage to seek help - think of it as a challenge! If you’re experiencing some of the symptoms of mom burnout I mention above, it’s worth reaching out to a therapist for mothers and seeing if you can get some of your questions about counseling for moms answered ( I also have a post on this topic!). If you’re not quite there yet, check out my page on mindfulness for moms for some helpful mindfulness-based coping tools to help you feel more present as a mother.