Therapy for Perfectionism
in Denver, Colorado
Helping women heal from a harsh inner critic to finally feel enough.
Are you a high-achieving woman who struggles with perfectionism, fear of failure or never feeling good enough?
Do you feel like you have to complete everything perfectly and there is no room for failure? Maybe you push and push yourself to be the “best” wife, mother, friend and colleague, and no matter what you do it never feels like enough. Lately you’ve been finding yourself feeling overwhelmed with commitments, only to cope by taking on more responsibilities. When you think about letting some things go, you worry that others will think you’re weak or unstable. You’ve been wasting time perfecting minor details that you know don’t really matter, and now you’re behind on work deadlines. And you’re really starting to feel exhausted and burnt out from these high standards that you hold yourself to.
All you want is to be able to let go of the weigh you’ve been carrying without feeling anxious or guilty.
You imagine a world where you could be kinder to yourself, but it feels so far away.
You don’t have to live with this crippling fear of failure. Therapy for perfectionism can help.
What is Perfectionism?
People who struggle with perfectionism often seem like successful, high achievers who have it all together on the outside, and oftentimes are the envy of everyone around them. On the inside, things can be a little more complicated - you may actually struggle with self-doubt and criticism, beating yourself up and moving the bar higher and higher as to what end result will achieve satisfaction. Sometimes this perfectionism can spill over into other relationships, holding others around you to high standards as well. Holding yourself to high standards can have positive impacts on your life - you may be very successful academically, professionally, athletically, and have many close friends who value the effort you put into your relationships. But the problem with perfectionism is that “perfect” is usually a moving target. When we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect, we are often chasing a feeling, rather than an objective outcome. This pattern leads to a cycle of anxiety, depression, burnout and an overall negative self image. Perfectionism can be particularly tricky to address, since there is so much positive reinforcement for these behaviors in all of the praise that we receive from others for pushing ourselves to work so hard. When the ugly side of perfectionism starts to rear its head, therapy can help.
Therapy for perfectionism may be right for you if you experience things like:
Holding yourself and/or those around you to unrealistically high standards
Difficulty letting go of control or delegating to others
Linking your self-worth to achievement and productivity
Struggling to celebrate your wins, instead focusing on what you could have done better
Fearing judgment or rejection from others
Overworking yourself, even when you are burnt out, and getting stuck on minor details
Feeling overwhelmed by minor decisions due to fear of making the “wrong” choice
Avoiding trying new things due to fear of failure or making mistakes
Frequently comparing yourself to others and feeling anxious when you feel that others have “out-performed” you
Seeing things only in term of perfection vs. failure (all or nothing thinking)
Feelings of burnout and exhaustion
Anxiety
Depression
Perfectionism Therapy in Denver Can Help
It is not your fault that you feel this way - perfectionism often times developed as a coping tool at some point in your life; a way that your brain adapted to unstable circumstances or achieved feelings of safety and security. However, many people realize as they transition to adulthood that this method of coping is not serving them the way it once was. Counseling can help you to overcome perfectionism and learn to go easier on yourself. In therapy together, we will:
Help you to better understand where your perfectionism developed, and dig deeper to draw connections between these past experiences and the pressures and expectations that you put on yourself in the present
Teach you cognitive tools to support you in experiencing less overthinking and negative self talk
Help you develop coping skills and relaxation tools to calm down your nervous system and help with feelings of exhaustion and burnout, as well as make space for activities focused on taking care of yourself rather than productivity or achievement
Teach you to rethink the way you respond to high pressure situations by building mindfulness tools to feel more present in your life, treat yourself with kindness and accept all parts of who you are
Overcoming Perfectionism
Through counseling for perfectionism, I will help you to go easier on yourself and learn to celebrate your successes. You will experience less anxiety, better work/life balance and more joy. You will learn to hold compassion for yourself instead of judging yourself or putting yourself down. You will begin to make decisions based on your own values rather than fear of failure. You will find the courage to explore new things and welcome new experiences into your life.
You don’t have to live with constant self-criticism, pressure and fear of failure. Therapy can help you to be more present in your life, clarify your values and find joy in the things that matter most to you.
Overcoming Perfectionism FAQs
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CBT, psychodynamic therapy and exposure therapy are all effective treatments for perfectionism. Treatment usually involves some combination of learning to move away from all-or-nothing thinking, identify where perfectionism originated in your life and practice tolerating situations where you can’t perform “perfectly” through exposure.
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Perfectionism and anxiety are closely linked, and can feed into one another. For more information, check out my blog that covers the perfectionism and anxiety cycle.
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Yes! Many athletes struggle with perfectionism, which can lead to burnout, injury and more serious mental health challenges. Get in touch to learn more about how therapy for perfectionism can help you to find joy in exercise again.
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For people who struggle with perfectionism, the fear of failure is real. But “failing” at therapy is not possible - showing up and being ready to learn and grow are the only things you need to do. If you’re here, you’re doing it right.
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Perfectionism becomes toxic (or maladaptive) when you struggle to ever feel satisfied or content with yourself, no matter how hard you try. If you find yourself stuck in a loop where you chase one achievement after another and never really feel like it’s enough, it’s time to start counseling and get some help.
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Perfectionism and ADHD are connected as well. People with ADHD often struggle with not feeling good enough, putting off tasks that they worry they can’t complete “perfectly” and getting hung up on minor details. Perfectionism can be a symptom of ADHD.
My Denver-based therapy practice specializes in treating high-achieving women dealing with anxiety, perfectionism and people-pleasing. To start your counseling journey, follow these simple steps
Step 1
Contact Victoria
Step 2
Meet with Victoria, anxiety therapist for an intake session
Step 3
Get started on your journey towards healing from perfectionism!
Questions? Get in touch to speak with an anxiety therapist and learn more about perfectionism counseling in Denver, Boulder, Englewood and throughout Colorado.
