How Anxiety Therapy Can Help with People Pleasing and Self Esteem

Do you find yourself feeling exhausted from bending over backwards, trying to meet everyone in your life’s needs except your own?  Does the idea of not being liked by everyone in your life give you intense anxiety?  Do you struggle to say “no”, and then sometimes feel resentful afterwards for agreeing to things you don’t really want for yourself?

If you are a people pleaser, you may struggle with feeling paralyzed at the idea of speaking up for yourself, no matter how much you prepare or hype yourself up ahead of time.  You worry so much about upsetting those around you that it feels genuinely unsafe to rock the boat.  Or maybe you are so deep into people pleasing that you don’t even know what you want anymore, or like to think of yourself as being the “adaptable” or “easygoing” one.  But then when you feel so exhausted, and maybe even a little annoyed at the end of a long social day, you’re confused:  I thought I was fine doing “whatever”?  Why am I feeling annoyed and on edge?

In this post, we’ll take a look at where people pleasing comes from, how to know if you’re a people pleaser, and how therapy can help you heal from people pleasing to start putting your own needs first.