Anxiety Therapy for Moms in Denver: Therapist Tips for Handling Mom Anxiety

The anxiety that comes with motherhood is no joke - as a mom, you probably lay awake often at night, replaying the day’s decisions.  You may find yourself worrying constantly about your child’s development, milestones, happiness and safety.  You try to stay calm, but your mind races with thoughts like “Am I doing enough?” or “Am I doing it right?”

Maybe you feel like there’s something wrong with you, or you’re alone in your anxiety.  But as a Denver, Colorado-based therapist who specializes in treating moms with anxiety, I can assure you, you’re not.  This kind of anxiety is something that more moms than not experience from time to time, if not constantly.  It almost seems to go hand in hand with the experience of motherhood in our culture.  It begs the question of: why are moms today so anxious?

In this post, we’ll explore some common causes of anxiety in motherhood, tips for handling your mom anxiety, and the benefits of seeing an anxiety therapist for moms to treat it. 

What is Mom Anxiety?

“Mom anxiety” isn’t a clinical diagnosis, but it’s a very real, lived experience for many moms. It refers to the chronic worry, fear, stress, and overwhelm that many women feel starting as they prepare to become moms, and throughout motherhood.  

This kind of anxiety can show up in subtle ways, like always second-guessing your parenting choices, or in more intense forms, like racing thoughts, panic, or a constant sense of dread. For many moms, this anxiety goes unspoken. You might feel like it’s “just part of being a mom” or worry that talking about it means you're not cut out for motherhood..

Here are some common symptoms of mom anxiety:

• Constant worry, often about things like your child’s development, safety or wellbeing

• Irritability, frustration or “mom rage”, triggered by even seemingly “small” things

• Feeling overwhelmed by day to day responsibilities 

• Racing thoughts that spiral into worst-case-scenario thinking

• Feeling “on edge” all of the time

• Overanalyzing or second-guessing decisions

• Fear of making a mistake that you think will harm your child

• Fatigue, even after getting a good night’s sleep

• Difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep

• Struggling to concentrate or be present

• Having difficulty letting your child have independence, and worrying that they’ll make catastrophic mistakes without your guidance

• Feeling overwhelmed by, or afraid to leave your house because of potential health and safety threats

• Distancing yourself in relationships or self-isolating because socializing feels overwhelming

Anxiety doesn’t mean you’re a bad mom. It means you’re a human being, doing your best in an incredibly demanding role. And there are reasons that anxiety for moms today is on the rise.  Moms in our present-day culture are under immense pressure to do everything “right”, constantly being flooded with messages from friends, family, social and news media about various ever-changing parenting trends.  Being so connected to the internet and social media also means exposure to fear-inducing events and stories from other people that you may not know at all.  Being given a window into others’ experiences through mediums like TikTok, Instagram and Reddit makes us feel connected to the people sharing their experiences, and makes us feel an increased likelihood that these same circumstances could happen to us.  It can make the world feel a lot scarier, and cause moms to feel anxious or withdraw.  

Types of Mom Anxiety

There’s no one-size-fits-all version of mom anxiety.  Depending on your stage of life or circumstances, it might take different forms. Here are some of the most common ones I see in my practice:

Fear of Motherhood Anxiety

Even before your baby is born, anxiety can creep in. Family planning and pregnancy often brings a storm of new fears - about labor, parenting, identity shifts, or whether you’re “ready” for motherhood.

You might lie awake wondering:

• What if I’m not cut out for this?

• What if something goes wrong?

• How will I handle the pressure?

• Will the stress of parenting be too much for my relationship?

These are incredibly common worries - one of the biggest anxiety triggers that we experience as humans is fear of the unknown.  Most moms-to-be know that having a baby is a major life transition, but they don’t know the ways that it will impact their functioning, relationships and happiness.  Especially for women who like to always have a “plan”, the idea of entering motherhood can feel totally scary and overwhelming.  It might show up in the form of frequent worrying, worst-case-scenario thinking, distancing yourself from your partner or procrastinating family planning until you feel like everything is “perfect.”  

Postpartum Anxiety

While postpartum depression is more widely discussed, many moms actually experience postpartum anxiety. This can include:

• Racing, intrusive thoughts

• Obsessively checking on your baby

• Difficulty sleeping even when your baby sleeps

• Constant “what if” scenarios running through your mind

Unlike postpartum depression, postpartum anxiety often shows up as over-functioning - hyper-alertness, trying to control every little detail, and feeling like you can never relax. It’s often triggered by the stress of adjusting to parenthood in conjunction with hormonal shifts that occur after giving birth or during breastfeeding, and is exacerbated by sleep deprivation.  Check out my full post on postpartum anxiety for more information on what it looks like and how you can cope.

Stay-at-Home Mom Anxiety

Staying home with your kids full-time can be incredibly rewarding - but it’s also a job that never ends.  You don’t punch out at 5pm, you don’t get a lunch break, and no one pays you to do it.  Because of this, stay-at-home moms can be especially likely to struggle with the stress and anxiety of always being “on”, feeling like everything is on them and they never get a break.  On top of that, many stay-at-home moms feel like they can’t ask for help because managing the family and household is their “job”, or deal with constant mental pressure about if and when they’ll return to the workforce.   If you’re a stay-at-home mom, you may worry that you’re not doing enough educational activities with your kids, or feel like your value is constantly being questioned because you’re not bringing in income.

Some other things stay-at-home moms often struggle with are:

• The monotony of daily routines

• Guilt for not “loving every moment”

• Comparison to other moms (online or in your life) who seem to have it all together, or “juggle it all” while also working outside the home

Stay-at-home-moms deal with unique mental health challenges, and also are so used to planning everything around their kids’ schedules that they often struggle to make time for professional help when they need it.  

Working Mom Anxiety and Guilt

It might seem like moms today can’t win - they struggle with anxiety if they stay home with their kids, and feel other kinds of anxiety and guilt for returning to work.  Working moms often feel like they’re being pulled in a thousand directions at once. Maybe you do really love (and feel fulfilled by) your career, but that doesn’t stop the guilt when you miss bedtime, or conversely have to leave work early to care for your sick kid.  Or, you may struggle with feeling less fulfilled by your career than you would like, but feel financial pressure to keep working for the benefit of your family.  

You might think:

• Am I letting my kids down?

• Should I be home more?

• How do other moms do this without falling apart?

This kind of anxiety is deeply rooted in unrealistic societal expectations - and it can take a serious toll on your mental health.  Read more about this kind of mom anxiety in my post on working mom guilt.

General Motherhood Anxiety and Worry

Even if your anxiety doesn’t fit neatly into one category, you may experience ongoing, low (or high!) level anxiety as a mom that comes simply from the pressure to be responsible for another human being.  This can look like:

• Worrying constantly about your child’s future

• Feeling overstimulated or on edge all the time

• Getting caught in worst-case scenario thinking spirals

• Being on-alert for opportunities to intervene and protect your child from harm or failure

Motherhood doesn’t come with an off-switch - and we still live in a world where mothers are more often than not the “default parent”, juggling the family’s mental load on top of all of their other responsibilities.  And for women who struggled with anxiety and worry even before becoming a parent, motherhood is likely to become a new trigger for your endless worry-thoughts.  Mom anxiety may drive you to avoid anxiety-inducing situations, over-plan, or helicopter parent, all of which can actually increase your anxiety and need for control.

6 Ways to Handle Mom Anxiety

As a therapist for moms, mom anxiety is one of the main issues I treat in my practice.  Here are six therapist-approved ways to start easing the burden of anxiety and create a calmer, more connected experience of motherhood:

1. Notice and Name Your Anxiety

   Sometimes, just identifying the anxious thoughts in real time can be incredibly powerful - it helps you to create distance from them rather than blindly accepting them as reality. You might say to yourself:

   “I notice I’m catastrophizing again,” or
   “I’m having x thought,, but it might not be true.”

   You don’t have to fight with the anxiety, but you don’t have to believe everything it tells you either.

2. Practice Being a “Good Enough” Mother

   The pressure to be perfect feeds anxiety - especially because “perfect” tends to be subjective and elusive, leaving us feeling like we always need to be doing “more”. But kids don’t need perfection - they need a present, attuned, responsive parent. Embrace the concept of “good enough parenting”  - that your child needs a decent, human, “good enough” and unconditionally loving parent more than they need a “perfect” one.   Let the dishes sit in the sink. Let screen time happen when you need a break. Let yourself be human:  your love and presence matter more than checking every box.

3. Ground Yourself in the Present

   Anxiety thrives in the future: what if this, what if that; all of the unknowns and uncontrollables. One of the best ways to calm it is to come back to what’s real, right now. Try simple grounding tools:

   • Run your hands under cold water

   • Name five things you can see

   • Take ten slow, deep breaths

   These micro-moments of regulation help your nervous system settle so you can respond - not react. Check out my post on mindfulness for moms for more tips on staying present as a mom.

4. Set Boundaries Around Information and Input

   Constant information - parenting books, social media, advice from well-intentioned family - can keep anxiety on high alert. It’s okay to limit your exposure. You might unfollow accounts that make you feel inadequate, or take breaks from Googling every possible question. After all, you know your child better than the internet does!  Time spent parsing through endless information is also time spent not being present with yourself and your kids. 

5. Build Your Village (Even If It’s Small!)

   Anxiety loves isolation. One of the most healing things you can do is talk to other moms who get it. Whether it’s a trusted friend, a support group, or your therapist, letting yourself be seen and supported is a game-changer, and can help give you permission to go easier on yourself.

6. Confront Your Fears

   Yes, it’s easier said than done - but the more we avoid things that make us feel anxious, the more our anxiety grows.  If you find yourself avoiding certain places or activities because of fearful thoughts, find a way to challenge yourself to try it out - go for a short amount of time, or take a friend or partner with you at first.  The more you practice, the quieter your anxious thoughts will become.
   

Coping With Mom Anxiety in Denver, Colorado

Here in Denver, moms face all the same pressures as everywhere else - but also the unique stressors of urban parenting, and often in a place where they are not from and don’t have much of a support network.  If you live in Denver, you may know that the question “where are you from, originally?” is commonplace when you get to know someone new (data indicates that as much as 57% of Colorado’s population are transplants).  In addition, rising costs of living, limited childcare spots, and trying to maintain that elusive “Colorado lifestyle” (finding time for trail runs after bedtime or planning baby-friendly weekend hikes) can all add to your mental load.

You may feel like you “should” be grateful - you’ve got the mountain views, a sweet family, maybe even a flexible job - but still, something feels heavy inside. Here are some places that Denver moms can go to help ease their stress and anxiety:

• The Den  is a baby-friendly coffee shop located in Denver’s Lo-Hi neighborhood.  They offer space for parents to sit and mingle, enjoy a cup of coffee and even answer emails while their baby is playing in the “play cafe”.  They create a space for parents to feel empowered, supported and find community.  Check out their calendar for information on their latest classes, events and offerings.  

• Tumble Haus is a space for family play and connection, located in Denver’s Highlands neighborhood.  They offer “open tumble”, tumble classes and even a happy hour for parents to socialize in the late afternoon. 

• Denver has tons of parks and open spaces to go for a mindful walk, relax and take a breather.  Check out Wash park, City Park and Cheesman Park / Denver Botanic Gardens - all great places to go on your own, or tote your little one along to their playgrounds.

Anxiety Counseling for Moms in Denver

If mom anxiety is making it hard to enjoy this time in your life, you don’t have to keep pushing through without help. Therapy creates a safe space to explore your fears, process your emotions, and learn how to feel more grounded and confident as a mom.

At my Denver-based therapy practice, I specialize in helping moms like you:

• Quiet the never-ending mental noise

• Cope with anxiety and overwhelm

• Let go of guilt and perfectionism

• Reconnect to your own needs and identity

Whether you’re navigating early motherhood, juggling work and home life, or just feeling the everyday strain of being everything to everyone, therapy can give you the tools to care for yourself, too.  Reach out today to schedule a free 15 minute consultation with Victoria, an anxiety therapist for moms at Root to Rise Therapy.

Staying Calm in the Chaos

If we’re being honest, motherhood is always going to be chaotic - there’s always something to do, someone to care for, something to worry about. But you deserve space to breathe; to pause;  to put the baby down for five minutes and stretch; to say no to things that drain you; to ask for help even when it feels vulnerable.  You don’t have to white-knuckle your way through motherhood - get in touch to find out how therapy can help.

Related Posts:

Understanding Postpartum Anxiety for Moms in Denver

How Mindfulness Can Help You Be a More Present Mom

Coping with Working Mom Guilt: The Struggle is Real

Support for Anxiety and Stress During Pregnancy

The Myth of the Perfect Mother: How to Break Free from Perfectionist Parenting

5 Ways Therapy Can Help Overwhelmed Moms Recovery from Burnout

Postpartum Identity Crisis? Here’s How Postpartum Anxiety Therapy Can Help

How to Calm Your Mom Rage

Other Services at Root to Rise Therapy:

Other mental health services at Root to Rise Therapy include Therapy for Anxiety,  Therapy for Perfectionism, Therapy for People-Pleasing,Cultural Identity Counseling, ADHD Therapy, Counseling for Moms and Postpartum Counseling.   I see clients located inColorado, New York and New Jersey.  Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome anxiety and reclaim your life!