Anxiety About Going Back to Work After Being a Stay-At-Home Mom? Here’s How to Cope
If you’ve taken time away from your career to be home with your family, the decision to return to the working-outside-the-home world can feel huge. All kinds of thoughts might be keeping you up at night:
“How will the kids adjust? Will they think I’m abandoning them?”
“What if I can’t keep up?”
“Is this really what I want? What if I liked being home more than I realized?”
“Am I being selfish?”
“Is my partner going to be able to pull their fair share of the weight at home?”
“Is our life going to fall apart?”
Maybe your mind jumps between excitement about having something just for you again… and a sinking feeling of guilt for even wanting it. Or maybe you’re getting stuck in trying to picture how it will logistically all work out: “What will mornings look like? Will the childcare schedule work? What will we do when the kids get sick? What will we have time to make for dinner?”
If any of this sounds familiar, pause and take a deep breath. All of these thoughts and worries are completely normal. You’re not alone - and there’s nothing wrong with you for feeling anxious about going back to work. The transition from stay-at-home mom to working mom is a major life shift with a lot of unknowns, and it’s normal to experience fear and anxiety during big life changes. Other feelings like hope, guilt and uncertainty are also likely to rear their heads.
In this post, we’ll explore why returning to work can feel so overwhelming, the ways stay-at-home motherhood has already prepared you more than you realize, and practical strategies to help you make this transition with more confidence and compassion.
Staying at Home is Work, Too.
Before you even think about going back to work, it’s important to acknowledge something that society often glosses over:
Being a stay-at-home mom is work. Hard work. Important work. Relentless work.
You’ve been:
Managing a household
Planning and coordinating schedules, meals, naps, activities, and appointments
Acting as the default parent for every need, big or small
Navigating tantrums, night wakings, milestone worries, and everything in between
Holding your family’s emotional center of gravity
This is labor—physical, emotional, and mental. And you’ve been doing it without lunch breaks, PTO, or promotions.
Because of this, going back to work doesn’t mean you’re “starting over.” It means you’re transitioning from one demanding role to another. And that shift can stir up a lot of feelings, especially if you’ve internalized messages that minimize the value of caregiving work.
But remember:
You haven’t been “out of the workforce.” You’ve been working full-time, just in a role that doesn’t come with a paycheck.
This perspective matters, because when you recognize that you’ve been working all along, the decision to return to paid work can feel less like a restart - and more like an evolution.
Mom Guilt and Anxiety About Going Back to Work
If you’re feeling anxious about returning to work, it’s likely tangled up with something many moms know too well: mom guilt.
There’s guilt about leaving your child.
Guilt about not being “present enough.”
Guilt for wanting adult connection.
Guilt for feeling burned out at home.
Guilt for enjoying your career.
Guilt for not enjoying your career.
It’s endless—and exhausting.
Here are a few reasons this transition triggers anxiety and guilt for so many moms:
Fear of not being able to “do it all.”
The pressure on moms is enormous. You might worry about juggling work responsibilities while still being expected to function as the default parent at home. That’s a recipe for overwhelm.
Worry about how your kids will adjust.
Separation anxiety, schedule changes, and new routines can feel intimidating. Even if the childcare setup is great, the emotional transition can still feel heavy - especially before you see your kids thriving in this new arrangement.
Fear that you’ve “lost your edge.”
It’s common to wonder whether you’ll be as competent at work as you were before kids. Spoiler: You haven’t lost your skills. In fact, motherhood has probably sharpened some of them (but we’ll get to that).
Internalized cultural messages.
There’s still a deep cultural narrative that “good moms” do everything possible to maximize time with their kids, or that moms should sacrifice themselves without limit. When you push against that narrative, guilt can rise to the surface - even when your head knows you’re doing the right thing.
The emotional whiplash of change.
Even positive change can be stressful. You’re moving from a familiar rhythm (even if it was overwhelming at times) into a new one that feels unknown. Humans naturally feel anxious before major transitions.
None of this means something is wrong with you - it means that you’re an incredibly thoughtful mother who is attuned to their child(ren), and wants to make the best decision possible for your family.
The Benefits of Going Back to Work
Even though returning to work can feel overwhelming, many moms find that once the initial transition passes, the shift comes with meaningful benefits.
Here are some positive aspects of going back to work that can ultimately benefit everyone in your family (remember, taking care of yourself allows you to be the best mother/wife/partner for everyone else in your life too):
Reconnecting with your identity
Work can remind you that you’re more than a caregiver. You’re also someone with skills, passions, and interests - all of which deserve acknowledgement and space to explore.
Adult interaction
For many moms, having conversations that don’t involve snack requests or Lego pieces can be grounding, stimulating, and mentally refreshing. Having the opportunity to build new, adult relationships can be incredibly fulfilling, and help you broaden your support network.
A structured routine
While parenting is unpredictable, work often brings clearer start and end times. That structure can help create a sense of balance - and allow you to be more “on” with your family in the hours before and after work.
Improved mental health
Having a role outside the home can reduce the isolation and emotional depletion that many stay-at-home moms experience - research even indicates that working moms may experience improved mental and physical health compared to moms who stay at home. Working outside the home can also help ease depressive symptoms that arise from monotony, loneliness, or lack of support.
Greater financial freedom
Whether your income is essential or simply helpful, financial autonomy can reduce stress and offer more choices for your family.
Showing your children what’s possible
Pursuing your professional goals models resilience, balance and autonomy for your kids (not selfishness).
How to Cope With Anxiety About Going Back to Work After Being a Stay-at-Home Mom
Even when you logically know returning to work is the right choice, the emotional piece can feel like a rollercoaster (and keep you see-sawing between excitement and doubt). Here are some strategies to help you navigate this transition with more self-compassion and groundedness.
Normalize your feelings
Remind yourself:
“It makes sense that I feel anxious. This is a big transition.”A lot of times, anxiety is a sign that something matters deeply to you and you’re heavily invested in the outcome- not that you’re making the wrong choice.
Start with small, logistical steps
Getting practical can reduce anxiety significantly. Consider:
A trial run of your morning routine
Practicing the drive to daycare
Laying out clothes, lunches, and bags the night before
Using checklists to reduce decision fatigue
Looping your partner in to help with logistical planning
Small steps help your nervous system adjust before the transition is fully underway.
Prepare for emotional transitions, too
Talk with your kids about upcoming changes in an age-appropriate way, but also acknowledge your own feelings. Consider creating a “transition ritual” for yourself and your child - something simple like a goodbye phrase, a morning hug, or a special handshake that symbolizes consistency and security.
Reframe the guilt
When guilt shows up, gently challenge it:
“My child is safe and cared for.”
“I’m allowed to have a life outside motherhood.”
“Working doesn’t make me less loving or less present.”
Most guilt comes from unrealistic expectations or internalized pressure, not from actual wrongdoing.
Set boundaries early
Before work ramps up, practice healthy boundaries:
Block off times you won’t check emails
Communicate clearly about your schedule
Share childcare responsibilities with your partner (if and when possible)
Delegate household tasks to other members of your support system
Remember, being a parent is not something to apologize for - and neither is needing balance.
Challenge perfectionism
Returning to work often brings out perfectionism:
“I need to be the perfect mom and the perfect employee.”But perfectionism leads to burnout. Instead:
Aim for good enough in both roles
Remember: you’re only human, and your capacity is not limitless
Practice compassion toward yourself when things feel messy
You don’t have to excel at everything to be doing a good job.
Allow yourself to indulge
Think about some of the more concrete benefits of returning to work - allow yourself to indulge in shopping for a new, back-to-work wardrobe that you feel confident in and can get excited about. Start to think about using your PTO to plan a fun family vacation that may have been off-limits with only one income. It’s not a crime to indulge!
Create a support system
Lean on:
Other moms who’ve been through the transition
Trusted friends or family
Mom groups or online communities
A therapist who understands overwhelm and maternal mental health
When you get support, you feel less alone. Less loneliness leads to less anxiety and more confidence.
Give yourself time to adjust
The first week might feel hard. So might the second. But most moms find that within a few months, a new, (somewhat) predictable routine develops. It’s going to take everyone time to adjust to the change, but you and your family will adjust. Be realistic and let yourself adapt at a human pace. If months pass and things still don’t feel right, trust in yours and your family’s ability to adapt and adjust - no decision has to be permanent.
It’s All Going to Be Okay
When you’re in the middle of emotionally preparing for a transition like this, it’s easy to catastrophize. You may imagine worst-case scenarios, fear that you’re making the wrong choice, or feel guilty no matter what you decide.
But truly - you are going to be okay.
Your child is going to be okay.
Your household will find a new rhythm.
You will continue to grow into whatever version of motherhood works for you and your family.
You don’t need to have everything figured out on day one. You just need to take one step at a time.
You’ve navigated the early days of motherhood. You’ve managed complex schedules, meltdowns, household-wide sick days (and weeks!), exhaustion, on top of the invisible workload of running a home. You’ve already done things far harder than returning to work.
This transition is just another chapter in your life - and you’ll likely be surprised at how well everyone in your family adapts. Trust in your decision-making skills - you wouldn’t be reading this post if you hadn’t thought long and hard about this choice. You know what’s best for your family - and in your years at home, you’ve put in the work to set everyone up for success. You all will adapt. You all will be ok. And if at any point it feels like things need to change, trust that your family will work together to pivot and adapt.
Therapy for Overwhelmed Moms Can Help Your Transition
If the anxiety about going back to work feels heavy, persistent, or overwhelming, therapy can offer a safe place to unpack those feelings and get some professional support. You don’t have to push through this alone.
In therapy, you can:
Explore the root of your guilt and anxiety
Identify the values that guide your decisions
Learn practical coping skills to handle stress and overwhelm
Assert yourself and set healthy boundaries at work and at home
Build confidence in your identity beyond motherhood
Navigate perfectionism or self-doubt
Receive support from someone who understands maternal mental health
Whether you’re excited, terrified, conflicted, or all of the above, therapy for moms gives you space to process and prepare for this change with self-compassion.
Reach out today to schedule a free consultation with a therapist for moms at Root to Rise Therapy in Denver, Colorado. You don’t have to do this alone.
Related Posts:
Coping with Working Mom Guilt: The Struggle is Real
How to Cope with Return to Work After Maternity Leave
The Myth of the Perfect Mother: How to Break Free from Perfectionist Parenting
5 Ways Therapy Can Help Overwhelmed Moms Recovery from Burnout
Therapist Tips for Handling Mom Anxiety
Why Being the Default Parent is So Exhausting
Postpartum Identity Crisis? Here’s How Postpartum Anxiety Therapy Can Help
Why Do I Doubt Myself So Much? (And How to Stop)
Other Services at Root to Rise Therapy:
Other mental health services at Root to Rise Therapy include Therapy for Anxiety, Therapy for Perfectionism, Therapy for People-Pleasing,Cultural Identity Counseling, ADHD Therapy, Counseling for Moms and Postpartum Counseling. I see clients located inColorado, New York and New Jersey. Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome anxiety and reclaim your life!
