Combatting the Sundown Scaries: How to Deal with Postpartum Nighttime Anxiety
When the sun starts to set, your heart starts to race.
This is a new experience for you since becoming a parent - in your pre-baby life, nighttime was a time when you could exhale, put your feet up and take some time to recharge from the busy workday. You used to look forward to the evening when you could put on the TV, jump back into your favorite video game or snuggle on the couch with your partner. Now, as a new parent, your evenings look a bit different. Picture this: you’ve finally made it through another long day of feeding, diaper changes, and trying to sneak in a few bites of food or a shower. But as the evening light fades, that familiar wave of dread starts to rise. Your chest tightens. You feel a pit in your stomach. You start to think about the long night ahead - the unpredictable wake-ups (if your baby settles down at all, that is); the endless rocking; the false starts that you spend holding your breath, only to be interrupted by the evitable rustle or whimper; the hours spent wondering if you’ll ever sleep again.
Familiar? You’re not alone. Many new parents experience what’s often called the sundown (or sunset) scaries: a spike in anxiety, worry, or dread that hits as daylight starts to fade and lingers through the night. Sometimes it can even start earlier in the day, like in the late afternoon (yes, really!).
It can feel confusing and isolating - especially when you’re used to associating evenings with rest. But for parents navigating the newborn stage, it can actually be incredibly normal for nighttime to bring feelings of uncertainty, loneliness, and emotional overwhelm instead.
Let’s explore what the sundown scaries feel like, why nighttime can be so hard postpartum, and most importantly - how to cope, so that you can leave the days of the sundown scaries behind you.
What the Sundown Scaries Feel Like
The term sundown scaries (an obvious, and fitting play on the term “sunday scaries” that many of us were familiar with in our pre-baby lives) captures that very real sense of unease many new parents experience as the day starts to wind down. While every person’s experience is different, some common signs include:
A sudden (or sometimes steadily growing) feeling of dread, sadness, or anxiety as the day progresses and sunlight starts to fade
Tightness in your chest or a racing heart
Fear about being alone with the baby or handling the night ahead
Thoughts like, “I can’t do this again tonight,” or “This is never going to get better”
Feeling tearful, restless, or on edge for no clear reason other than dreading bedtime
Feeling on edge, hyper-vigilant or having trouble shifting to a relaxing activity, even once the baby is asleep
Feeling overwhelmed, inadequate or doubting your abilities as a parent
Mentally re-hashing or second-guessing your parenting decisions from the day
Frequent thoughts about missing your pre-baby life, or feelings of intense loneliness
Sometimes the postpartum sundown scaries can even feel physical - like your body is warning you that the sun is going down before your mind has time to react.
You might find yourself clock-watching, dreading bedtime, or mentally preparing for the long night ahead. These feelings can be particularly intense during the early weeks after birth, when your body is recovering, hormones are shifting, and sleep is especially scarce.
Why Nighttime is So Hard Postpartum
You’re not imagining that nighttime is especially hard for moms AND dads postpartum - there are several real reasons this time of day can bring up anxiety for new parents:
Hormonal Fluctuations
After giving birth, your hormones shift dramatically. Estrogen and progesterone - which both have mood-stabilizing effects — drop rapidly in the days following delivery. Cortisol (the stress hormone) and prolactin (the milk production hormone) can fluctuate throughout the day, often peaking in the evening. And postpartum hormonal changes don’t just impact moms - research actually shows that dads also experience hormonal changes after becoming a parent, including a decrease in testosterone and increase in estrogen, oxytocin, prolactin, vasopressin and cortisol. All of these shifts can make your emotions feel volatile, unpredictable and amplify the effects of nighttime anxiety.
Sleep Deprivation
Sleep deprivation can’t be overstated as a factor in postpartum mental health. When you’re running on only a few broken hours of rest, your brain’s ability to regulate emotions and manage stress decreases significantly. The result? You’re more likely to feel anxious, irritable, or hopeless as the night approaches - especially when it might feel like there’s no plan in sight to catch up on your zzz’s.
Quiet Can Feel Lonely
During the day, distractions help you stay busy - feedings, diaper changes, visitors, or the occasional walk or errand. But at night, everything slows down. Your routine breaks down, the world gets quieter, and that quiet can magnify your thoughts and fears. Bedtime with a newborn can involve an hour, sometimes, two (sometimes more) of sitting in the dark, often alone, waiting for them to fall asleep. Knowing that you’ll be alone with your thoughts for all of this time can cause anxiety and feelings of dread leading up to it. You might even notice feeling isolated in moments when your partner is right beside you.
Late Night Googling
For many new parents who are alone with their anxieties late at night, whether it be at bedtime or middle-of-the-night feedings, one way that we tend to seek reassurance is by looking up our fears, anxieties and worries on Google (or now, ChatGPT). We think that finding the answer we were looking for will quiet our mind, but it often does the opposite. The internet has a vast, endless supply of information, and there will always be an article, Reddit post or first-person account that will confirm your worst fears. Late-night Googling can be an endless rabbit hole of anxiety spirals, and it can be tricky to rationalize your way out of it in the middle of the night. Spending your evenings on Google will create an association of fear, panic and loneliness in the evenings, making you more likely to dread them in the days to come.
Anticipatory Anxiety
Many parents experience what’s known as anticipatory anxiety - worrying in advance about how hard the night might be. If you’ve had a string of sleepless nights, your body learns to associate evening with stress and exhaustion, which can trigger an anxious response even before anything actually happens.
The Emotional Weight of Dusk
There’s something about sunset that can feel emotionally heavy (in fact, many people who aren’t new parents also find that their anxiety is worse at night). For some, it marks the end of another day that felt hard to get through. For others, it symbolizes another long stretch of solitude ahead. Especially in the colder months of the year, nighttime might make you feel trapped in your house, or cut off from the outside world. These emotional cues can feed into the sundown anxiety postpartum experience, making it feel almost instinctual.
The Impact of the Witching Hour
Many new parents also notice that their baby’s “witching hour” - that time in the evening when newborns tend to be extra fussy - coincides with their own postpartum sundown scaries.
Around 5 p.m. to 10 p.m., babies may cry inconsolably, cluster feed, or seem generally unhappy. While this is developmentally normal, it can be exhausting and emotionally draining when you’re already running on empty. You may find yourself bouncing, rocking, and shushing for hours - and as the crying continues, your own anxiety can rise. Thoughts like, “What am I doing wrong?” or “Will this ever stop?” can easily spiral.
This overlap of the baby’s witching hour and your own emotional low point creates a perfect storm of stress. It’s no wonder so many parents describe the evenings as the hardest part of the day.
But here’s the good news: there are ways to break this cycle and begin to feel more grounded as the sun goes down.
How to Combat Postpartum Sundown Anxiety
Combatting the sundown scaries can feel incredibly overwhelming as a new parent. If you’re reading this, you’re already taking the first important step - acknowledging that what you’re feeling is valid and common.
Here are some practical strategies to help calm your mind and body when sunset anxiety sets in:
Create a Calming Evening Routine
Even small rituals can signal safety to your nervous system. Try dimming the lights, playing soft music, lighting a gentle candle, or diffusing lavender oil around sunset. Instead of bracing for the night, create moments that feel nurturing and predictable. Some of these changes might not only help you and your partner to wind down in the evenings, but your baby too.
Prepare for Night During the Day
Setting yourself up for success can help reduce evening stress. Prep bottles, lay out burp cloths, or set up your feeding station before evening hits. The more ready you feel, the less your brain needs to spin into “what ifs” once it’s dark.
Use Grounding Techniques
When anxiety rises, use grounding tools to bring yourself back to the present. Try the 5-4-3-2-1 technique — naming five things you can see, four you can touch, three you can hear, two you can smell, and one you can taste. Slow breathing (in for four, out for six) can also help reset your body’s stress response.
Ask for Help
If you have a partner, friend, or family member nearby, lean on them. Taking turns with nighttime duties or simply having someone to talk to can make evenings feel less isolating. Allow yourself to vent and commiserate with friends, to remind yourself that you’re not alone. If you’re solo parenting, consider joining a virtual postpartum support group to connect with others who understand what you’re going through.
Limit Stimulation
Scrolling social media or looking up baby questions late at night can intensify anxiety. Try to reduce screen time before bed and staying off Google during nighttime feeds. Instead try playing relaxing music, reading a kindle or paperback, or listening to an audiobook when you’re up late at night with the baby.
Reframe the Narrative
When you notice that evening dread creeping in, gently challenge those anxious thoughts. Instead of “I can’t handle another night,” try “I’ve gotten through every night so far — and I’ll get through this one too.” Small mindset shifts like this can build resilience over time.
Tend to Your Body
Sometimes soothing your body can calm your mind. Eat nourishing snacks, hydrate well, and take a few minutes to stretch before bed. If you’re breastfeeding, keeping a glass of water and a snack nearby can also reduce stress during nighttime feedings.
Find Ways to Prioritize Sleep
It might seem impossible in those early months, but getting adequate sleep is the most important factor contributing to postpartum mental health. Allow yourself to switch-off with your partner, get help from a family member or consider hiring a night nurse to help with middle-of-the-night feedings and care. Finding ways to snag daytime naps can also help you feel more rested and prepared to handle nighttime as it approaches.
Remember that This is Temporary
If there’s one thing that’s true about life with a newborn, it’s that things are constantly evolving. So much changes day-to-day and week-to-week. Eventually your baby will start sleeping for longer stretches. You won’t be sleep-deprived forever. Not knowing the answer to “but when?!” can be so tough, but at the very least, reminding yourself that this is a temporary phase of life can help bring some comfort in moments of doom-and-gloom.
Is It the Sundown Scaries, or Something More?
It’s completely normal to have some level of postpartum sundown anxiety, especially during the first few months. But if your anxiety feels intense, constant, or is interfering with your ability to function, it might be more than just the “sunset scaries.”
Here are some signs that it might be time to reach out for professional support:
You experience panic attacks or racing thoughts at night
You have intrusive or distressing thoughts about your baby’s safety
You feel persistently sad, hopeless, or emotionally detached
You’re not able to sleep, even when your baby is resting
Your anxiety makes it hard to eat, rest, or take care of yourself
In these cases, you may be experiencing postpartum anxiety or depression - both of which are common and treatable, but it is important to get help. Remember that you don’t have to go through this alone.
Postpartum Therapy Can Help You Cope with the Sundown Scaries
Working with a trained postpartum therapist can make a world of difference when you’re struggling with the sunset scaries or ongoing nighttime anxiety.
In postpartum therapy, you can:
Learn tools to calm your body when anxiety peaks
Identify thought patterns that intensify nighttime worry
Process fears about motherhood, sleep, and identity shifts
Build emotional regulation skills that make evenings more peaceful
Get to the root of perfectionism, self-doubting thoughts and insecurities that might be behind your anxiety
Therapy offers a safe, compassionate space to talk about the parts of motherhood that often go unspoken — the exhaustion, guilt, and fear that can surface after dark. Together with a therapist, you can find balance, confidence, and a renewed sense of calm.
Ready to Leave Newborn Nighttime Anxiety Behind?
If you’ve been dreading the evenings - counting down the hours until sunset with a knot in your stomach - know that relief is possible. You are not broken or failing. You’re navigating one of the most demanding, emotionally charged seasons of your life.
With the right support, the nights can start to feel less like something to survive, and more like an opportunity for rest, connection, and renewal.
You don’t have to face the sundown scaries alone. Therapy can help you move from anxious and overwhelmed to calm and grounded - no matter what time of day it is.
If you’re ready to start feeling more at ease, we’d love to support you. At Root to Rise Therapy, we specialize in postpartum mental health and helping new parents get to the root of their anxiety. Reach out today to schedule a free consultation for postpartum therapy in Denver, Colorado, and take the first step toward calmer nights and brighter mornings.
Related Posts:
New Parent Anxiety: How Postpartum Therapy Can Help
Postpartum Identity Crisis? Here’s How Postpartum Anxiety Therapy Can Help
How to Cope With Return to Work After Maternity Leave
Mental Health Resources for New Moms in Denver
Understanding Postpartum Anxiety
Postpartum Depression Counseling: Healing and Feeling Whole Again
For more related posts, check out Root to Rise Therapy’s postpartum blog!
Other Services at Root to Rise Therapy:
Other mental health services at Root to Rise Therapy include Therapy for Anxiety, Therapy for Perfectionism, Therapy for People-Pleasing, Cultural Identity Counseling, ADHD Therapy, Counseling for Moms and Postpartum Counseling. I see clients located inColorado, New York and New Jersey. Contact me to learn more about how I can help you overcome anxiety and reclaim your life!
